Frazzled

Hi all. 

(At this point my blog is private for a few days, weeks, months. I don't know for how long at this point.)

So the sentence "hi all" doesn't seem fitting for now, but that is what it's been, and I'll keep it that way. I will be putting the blog back for all readers in a bit anyway. 

I am feeling so worn out right now-I don't even know if that is the word I'm looking for. 

The other day my cousin told me that she didn't know how I did it. Perfect human being, she said. 

 But I don't do it. My life becomes so overwhelming sometimes, and it's not because of school. 

For example, today I planned on coming home, practicing the piano, doing some homework, and checking out plane tickets for Ukraine. I came home to a house full of people. My mom's cousin came over to visit and it was so nice to see her, but I can get nothing done. They are probably staying for a few days. It's too loud to practice the piano, kids are all over the house playing with their new friend-their little son is 5. The kitchen is full of dishes, and the living room is covered with toys. I can't relax or get anything done in this atmosphere. Also, Lena needed help with her homework and gets frustrated while I try to help. I too, became impatient because I did not plan on spending a good half hour with her.

 I don't want to complain, and I am coming off as complaining. I want to be content but it is so hard. I even told my mom tonight about how I was feeling when she wasn't around everyone else-she totally understands. She said she thought it would get a little more activity free around here this fall, but it hasn't. 

So, when you come home, thinking you will be able to do this and that, and can't, because there are constant parties/people over, it gets overwhelming, especially after my usual long days. I love having people over. I say when I have my own house, I would love to host parties and such all the time. But here at home, it is getting out of hand it seems like. I feel like our house is a train station with people always in and out.

I know that this is only for a season, and one day I'm going to miss it. I would not change our big family for anything-but sometimes I want to change the amount of "fun" that comes with that, aka: people always coming over. 

Days like tonight, I feel like I can't handle it anymore. Maybe I'm just impatient, or I'm beginning losing my patience.  I don't know. 

Blessings,

Lesya